Ed Wood produced a film in the 1950s titled “Final Curtain” that was intended as a pilot for a horror anthology, and it had potential, but unfortunately it also had Ed Wood.
What Is It?
This anthology series from Edward D. Wood Jr. (Plan 9 from Outer Space) would have given us the story of a different haunted soul each week as described by the opening scroll:
Even the devil rejects them. Doomed to haunt the earth throughout the endless reaches of time.
The creatures in this story of terror were–
Once human—-
No—monsters—-
In a void between the living and the dead.
Creatures to be pitied.
Creatures to be despised . . . .
Aired: Never Aired
Developed By: Edward D. Wood Jr.
Starring: James “Duke” Moore, Dudley Manlove, Jenny Stevens
Why Didn’t it Fly?
In 1957, Ed Wood wrote, directed, and produced the short film “Final Curtain”, which was intended as a pilot for a horror anthology series to be titled Portraits of Terror. It focuses on an actor walking around the theater after the final curtain has come down on his play, and there is no dialogue—only narration. Not much additional information is available on the planned series, and to my knowledge, none of the broadcast networks or syndicators ever showed an interest in picking it up. And if you sit through the twenty-two-minute film, you will pretty much understand the reason why this one never made it to the Prime Time schedule (more on that below). But it is an interesting curio because it comes from the master of schlock films, Wood, and Bela Lugosi was originally supposed to play the lead role in the pilot. That actor passed away before Wood got the chance to produce the film, though I doubt Lugosi’s presence (who was mostly shunned by the entertainment industry at that point in his life) would have improved the chances of selling the series.
Would It Have Worked as a Series?
The basic concept of the series has potential: lost souls coming to terms with the realization of their deaths and facing an eternity as haunted figures with no peace. Plus, the idea of having shows narrated instead of using dialogue is interesting and could have turned this into a minimalist yet atmospheric exploration of the desolate lives and deaths of these souls. But . . . this is Plan 9 Ed Wood we’re talking about in all his glory, so that is not what the pilot delivers. Instead, the narrator (who is different from the actor but supposed to be the actor) quickly heads into over-the-top camp melodramatics and, at times, devolves into histrionics while failing to generate any scares. The dialogue is not much better, nor is there much evidence of directing chops from Wood—not that we would expect any from the guy voted Worst Director of All Time in 1980. What’s fascinating is that this could have been a very economical series to make (which would have attracted the attention of networks), and it could have taken some chances and pushed boundaries in the early days of television. But Ed Wood lacked the vision to make that happen, and wisely, network execs passed on greenlighting something that could have turned into the worst television series ever, considering its pedigree.
Should It Be Rebooted?
As mentioned above, Portraits of Terror actually had the germ of a good idea, and if done right, this could be turned into a sparse television series that delivers some good scares as well as interesting character studies. Most likely, it is in the public domain at this point—and even if not, it would probably not cost much to acquire the rights. Of course, I’m not sure if anyone wants to make a serious television show connected to the legacy of Ed Wood, so maybe a reboot could go the parody route. I’m not sure that would sustain it over multiple seasons, but it still could be fun. Either way—straightforward or spoof—it might be worth revisiting this one to try and unlock its potential.
Where Can You Watch It?
It is available to watch for free on YouTube, and I found a different version out there that either does not have music or it is so far back in the mix that you can’t hear it. The one at this link has decent enough video quality, but you can hear the music. You can also purchase the film VOD from sellers like Amazon.com, and I am guessing it is probably included in some of the Ed Wood DVD and Blu-ray collections.
Read about more Sci Fi TV pilots that did not fly at this link.
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As I recall there was a movie called Rod Serlings (the Twilight Zone Guy) NIGHT GALLERY which I have seen about five times when I was a young teenager. There were three stories each revolving around a two specific paintings. One of the paintings was a beautiful pastoral scene or some other paridise where the principal character could jump into and live forever in that paridise. However there was another painting that was a horrible nightmare scene that the principal character could also if he did not behave correctly could jump into and he would also live forever, but it would be in a nightmare horror senario. Of course the three stories involved the principal character goofing up what he or she was supposed to do and ending up forever tortured in the nightmare painting instead of living in the beautiful pastoral paridise painting. Similar to a Black Mirror story of today, you can go to heaven if you do the right thing, but if you do the wrong thing you will end up in Hell.